3044. Good Burger (1997)

Starring: Kel Mitchell, Kenan Thompson, Abe Vigoda

Director: Brian Robbins

Running Time: 95 mins

Good Burger is an American film about two teenagers who are forced into action as they attempt to save the failing burger restaurant they work after a major competitor opens across the street from them.

Bright, energetic and light-hearted it may be, but Good Burger is one of those films that’s just a bit too upbeat for its own good. Call me a cynic, but this is a film covered head to toe in sickly, plastic colours and plain, irritating humour that it really begins to grate on your ears. It may be good fun for kids, but not so much for the rest of us.

Of course, if you’re looking for something purely moronic, simple and predictable, then Good Burger might just be the right choice. It wins no prizes for screenplay originality, nor do any of its performances set the screen alight, but the biggest positive that you can draw from the movie is that it is a blissfully simple and childish movie that requires pretty much no thought throughout.

However, that doesn’t make a great movie. Good Burger may be easy on the brain, but it’s very heavy-going on the eyes and ears. To call it garish and screechy would be an understatement, but the film really is painfully irritating to watch at times, and there’s never a moment where it even tries to calm things down and do something a little bit different.

I suppose I shouldn’t expect much more from a ’90s Nickelodeon movie, but I’ve seen equally moronic and garish kids’ movies that do at least have some sense of originality or even likeability. The Spy Kids movies are pretty bad, but they don’t grate like fingernails on a chalkboard, whereas Good Burger does just that for its entire duration.

The painfully ugly greens and purples and silvers of the film’s colour palette are unbearable at times, but the most painful of all is the performance by Kel Mitchell. Far from the lovable buffoon he’s meant to be, his infuriating comic voice and painfully idiotic behaviour make him pretty hateful.

Kenan Thompson is a little better in the co-starring role, shying away from the horrifying screeches of Mitchell’s performance, though he too doesn’t really bring a lovable or even particularly fun charisma to the table.

If you’re a five year-old child, then this film’s manic energy, garish visuals and high-pitched screeches might sound like fun. But for anyone else, it’s the exact opposite of fun, with its only redeeming feature being just how light and simple it is. So, that’s why I’m giving Good Burger a 6.0 overall.