118. Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen (2004)

Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Megan Fox, Alison Pill

Director: Sara Sugarman

Running Time: 89 mins

Confessions Of A Teenage Drama Queen is an American film about a young girl who moves from New York to New Jersey, and finds herself in a school of amateur dramatics all buzzing for their shot at the lead role in the play.

It really really takes a lot for me to give something a red rating, but this just made me explode watching. This film was so vile, cheesy, predictable, unfunny, rubbish, stupid, unimportant and fake, which made me just hate every minute of it.

Lindsay Lohan’s not doing well in my opinion, but at least Mean Girls had some jokes in it that I could enjoy, whereas this had NOTHING. In fact, it was so lacking in substance, that it seemed to have no story, as Disney evidently assumed that everybody already knows the story of a teenage girl “finding herself”, so they just chucked some makeover montages and cheesy smiles together and made an 89 minute-long movie out of it.

I also have to say that the characters in this film nearly caused me to burst an artery or something, seeing as I was fuming and cringing so much. It seemed as if the writers couldn’t even be bothered to give the characters any real, non-teenage girl movie characteristics, which just made it seem like a pointless story.

Overall, this gets 1.3 because of the aforementioned reasons. (I can’t even be asked to write my opinions again, so basically, don’t watch this movie, even if you are an 8 year old girl.)