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Acting
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Directing
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Story
Starring: Daniel Usaj, Joe Hartzler, Preston Altree
Director: Jordan Downey
Running Time: 99 mins
ThanksKilling 3 is an American film and the second (yes, the second) instalment in the ThanksKilling series, following the vicious Turkie on a quest to retrieve the last remaining copy of the allegedly god-awful ‘ThanksKilling 2’.
Never in my life did I think that I would watch a film worse than Birdemic. However, in comparison to ThanksKilling 3, the infamously bad Birdemic looks like The Godfather, because this is genuinely the worst, most depressing film watching experience I have ever had to endure.
As I’ve said in previous bad reviews, there are films that are so bad they’re good, and then there are films that are so bad they’re not even funny. Well, ThanksKilling 3 is a further two levels below that, because it’s so appallingly bad that it’s funny how unfunny it is. That’s a bit convoluted, but what I’m trying to say is that this is an absolutely horrific film.
The movie makes absolutely no sense, and has one of the most tedious and infuriating stories ever written. At least the awful previous film, ThanksKilling had some sort of structure, and was also poking fun at generic teen horrors like The Blair Witch Project, whereas this film is just a series of hugely unfunny skits, each riddled with more f-bombs than The Wolf Of Wall Street, there is literally no continual story that could provide any teeny-weeny bit of interest.
It’s a film that’s been thrown together with what looks like the intelligence of a 1 year old’s baby food, it doesn’t even try to provide any sort of laughs (even a stupid chuckle would have improved it massively), it has no sense of what it wants to be (no parody atmosphere, there’s an uncomfortable mix of puppets and live-action all in the same film), and it just ends up as a complete and utter mess that I recommend you steer well clear of.
What’s worst, however, is that it’s a full 99 minute-long movie, nearly half an hour longer than the first film, and it just seems to go on forever and a day, making this a uniquely more than tedious and infuriatingly dull film to watch, but a genuinely depressing one.
The movie was funded by crowdfunding, and it has a budget of $300,000, and I can’t imagine how anyone could be pleased with the result they came up with. It’s a shameful waste of money and time, and I am feeling extremely angry because of it; it’s literally the worst film that you can see, and I don’t think it will ever be beaten.
And because I’m still so astonished by how bad, mean-spirited and distasteful this film was, it gets a special rating of its own, a -2.1 out of 10 for ThanksKilling 3.
