Starring: Matt Lanter, Kim Kardashian, Crista Flanagan
Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Running Time: 87 mins
Disaster Movie is an American film about a group of friends who have to survive one long day from the constant threat of some sort of disaster that promises the end of the world itself.
Yes, this is a disaster of a movie. From the makers of Scary Movie, and the not entirely intolerable Date Movie, this has got to be the worst parody of the century. It’s not only boring, but every single joke isn’t funny, and it’s ultimately one of the most painful comedies you’ll ever have the displeasure to sit through.
So, let’s talk about why this, more so than most parody movies, really fails to succeed in any way, shape or form. Scary Movie, while not a stunning film, was a good laugh, with both consistently funny comedy and a structured and interesting enough narrative to keep you engaged, plus characters that actually meant something to the plot, instead of what this film does, which is treat its main characters like disposable cutlery.
Here, the plot is completely nonsensical; there is, in effect, no plot. It seems as if the writers didn’t pitch the plot of a disaster parody first, but instead thought of hundreds of topical jokes when they were drunk and then strung those various episodes together with the thinnest story you’ll ever see.
The characters also mean nothing. Again, in a parody movie like this, characterisation isn’t that important, but it helps to have somebody in there to care about enough to even look at. In Date Movie, the main protagonist is pretty tedious, but at least she’s a constant fixture throughout who drives the plot along, instead of being chucked around by the multitude of unfunny gags here.
And that’s where the biggest problem lies: the jokes. Apart from maybe a smirk at one point, I didn’t laugh a single time in this film. Parody movies are meant to be funny, and even the simple slapstick, non-satirical gags here couldn’t make me laugh, basically, EVERY JOKE FAILS TO LAND.
The majority of the gags are parodies and satires on 2007-8 popular culture, so it’s not too hard to remember what most of the jokes are about, although some will surprise you to remember things that were massive in 2007, and yet mean nothing now.
Basically, if you remember that Sarah Silverman song about Matt Damon on Jimmy Kimmel, you’re in the know enough to understand the jokes here. (By the way, the final five minutes of this film are the most shockingly unfunny ones you’ll ever see, in an attempted parody of that song).
Anyway, this film is as horrific as its title suggests, with no good laughs whatsoever, a pathetic excuse for any sort of plot, and resultant boredom that sucks all of the potential fun out of a silly movie, and that’s why it gets a 1.3 from me.